This blog post was originally published on Aug 13, 2013
One of the most important things parents tend to de-prioritize is their own time together as a couple. There is often very little time left in a day for couples to spend together – granted if they can find someone to watch the kids while they go out or the energy to talk after the kids are tucked in bed.
Maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner, however, is not only relevant to keep your family held together, but, is also a time when you both model positive and/or negative relationship skills to your own children. How well you get along, resolve conflict, and react to one another’s comments or actions are all lessons kids pick up along the way.
Happy times
Show children and teenagers what healthy relationships look like, the time you two invest to keep the connection strong, and how being connected helps you shrug off the small stuff that won’t make or break your bond.
Conflict and stress
Children don’t understand arguments among adults and are affected by them, especially when they involve the two people in the world they love most. How better can you cope, discuss, and listen to each others’ perspectives? Conflict between couples should be kept private and behind closed doors as much as possible, and not involve the children.
Find couple time
Try not to talk about the kids for 10 or 15 minutes, even though it’s the easiest common ground to go to if you haven’t had deeper conversations in a while.
Talk about personal interests, goals, dreams, how you can help and support each other, concerns, and things you’re excited about.
So with 18 in Mind, don’t forget to put yourselves first and keep dating each other – your family started with the two of you and needs you both to survive.
Happy parenting,
Maya
N.B.: 18 in Mind is a blog about the day your kids turn 18 and the parenting years in between!